I sat down this afternoon to write my weekly blog post. And. Nothing. For someone that is rarely at a loss for words about anything that she feels passionately about, this was unnerving. I started to feel a mild frustration, and then it hit me. The last several weeks at my day job have been incredibly unsure, swimming with a lot of moving parts that are largely beyond my control — but it simply is no longer sustainable in the money realm, and in the fairness of things realm. In addition to this realization, recent cases have required more emotional labor than usual. This can make for quite the bitter cocktail.

I decided that I would tap into my own vulnerability and share this with you. After all, what I am currently experiencing is far from a unique experience. It is something that you may have or may be experiencing now. It is likely something that you will encounter in the future… And we are all human. Having human moments.

I’ve begun taking the neccesary steps I need to take to ensure the well-being of me and my son, moving forward. I’ve embarked on a job search that is time consuming, and having very little free time to do so. I am being mindful to not spiral into a place of despair, which is often fairly easy to do when faced with temporary setbacks that hold an urgency of needing to be resolved as quickly as possible.

The brain will do what it will do, and that’s often speeding into triage mode, a built in survival mechanism that aims to keep us safe and on track. The trouble is, when the brain is working from a state of stress, it rarely leaves room to allow for much else, other than the focus of that stress. And trying to “fix” it. ASAP! NOW! GO!

This weekend I realized that is all well and good, and I thanked myself for trying so hard to come up with a viable solution. But I also needed a break. It is impossible for us to continue on at record breaking speeds, when there is no sure outcome. So I did some things. While I have no control over what is transpiring, I do have a level of control over the decisions that I am making in the chaos. Here are a few of the things that I have practised, that have helped immensely (in no particular order), in order to be better ready next week to give it all another go. Well, except for step one:

Go Inside:
First step, always. “When life feels overwhelming, don’t be fooled into thinking that more action is needed to create order and peace. Get quiet and go inside. You’ll find everything you need, right there.” – Cheryl Richardson On Friday, I got quiet and I went inside. I figured out what i needed this weekend, to recharge me.

Go Outside:
Seriously, go outside. My son and I went out to my favorite trail to hike some miles today. I’d been spending Sundays pouring through job postings recently, and we hadn’t gone on our weekly hike. I have always found a great amount of comfort in being in the trees. It smells different than the usual city scents, clean, renewing. It’s a change of scenery, the natural beauty. Time slows down, if even for an hour, when I can be in a place I love, with my favorite human. It’s easier for me to remain present in the moment in this way. I can take the time to focus on what I’m hearing, the sensations and notice the way the sunlight comes through the trees. Also, ENDORPHINS!

All the Happy Making Smells:
I lit my favorite candles and read my book. I gave myself permission to indulge in such a luxury that I usually only reserve for bedtime. My inner voice attempted to chastise me for this. It did not win. There was even a tiny nap! AHHHHHHHH!

Breathe:
I’ve noticed that when things aren’t going as I would like them to, I have a tendency to hold my breath, and not breathe fully. There’s a lot of science that indicates that this is not beneficial. Making sure that we are taking good, full breaths is paramount in helping quiet the nervous system.

DANCE!:
I put on a playlist of songs I love and had a lovely living room dance party. Because I can. It was glorious.

Practice Gratitude:
I returned to being mindful of what I am grateful for. This list included things such as, rainy days that feel like Seattle, my son, cheese, amazingly supportive friends that hold massive amounts of space for me in my freak out mode that I can always be myself around, and that I have a roof over my head.

Laugh:
Even when I don’t feel like laughing, thank you to the vast powers of the internets, I can always find one or 20 videos that will send me into fits of giggles. Laughing is GOOD. Especially in difficult times.

Yoga!!!:
Stretching, moving, breathing, showing up on my mat, for myself.

Smile: This one I say with some trepidation, as a woman and having had been told to smile so many times I lost count. But it’s true. A recent study indicates that even FAKE smiling has the power to change things around. Fake smiling! Who knew?

The trick to all of this, of course, is remembering to practice self care when times are tough, and finding the energy to DO it. Having a pre-made list of go-to’s can help with this. Regular practice can help greatly in what you have chosen to care for you becomes habit…

All of this said, BRING. IT. MONDAY. I’m ready for you.

Stay tuned for an upcoming workshop that I will be offering in November: Showing Up for Yourself: Self Care For When You Don’t Have Time or Money.